Mixed emotions

So, Daniel left this morning. He'll spend the next 4 days at the armory in Weatherford, and then will leave out at 1 am Saturday morning headed to Fort Hood. I have such a wide range of emotions, it's hard to describe. (I'm sure the fact that I am pregnant is also contributing to the vast array of ups and downs as well.) In a sense, when he left this morning, it almost felt as if it was just another drill weekend. Granted, it's not the weekend, but I know he's only in Weatherford, and I'll see him again on Friday evening. But then at the same time, it broke my heart because I knew it would be the last time he's in our house for a while. Both of us had a very hard time sleeping last night. The last few days have been like an emotional roller coaster. Saturday's deployment ceremony was, surprisingly, the easiest for me. I expected to cry through the entire thing, but amazingly, I didn't. I guess knowing we still had a few days helped. That, and the fact that I was concentrated on videotaping it. A few times I was able to zoom in pretty close on Daniel and I even caught him mid-yawn a couple of times. Sunday was another day closer to leaving day, but we had the Brooks & Dunn/ZZ Top concert to look forward to. (Daniel's mom got us tickets as a going away present for Daniel, which was very nice of her.) Monday was tough. Knowing it was the last day sucked. We went over so Daniel could see our niece and nephew before he left, and I almost couldn't handle it. Especially when our niece made a comment about wishing that our town held the whole world. After the four adults in the room looked at each other like "what IS she talking about??" she continued her explanation with "that way, when Uncle Daniel goes away, he'd still be here." Whoa. Daniel and I talked about it later and both agreed, it hit us both hard to hear her little 5 year old take on it.

Anyway, that's the update for now. So far, I am doing ok. Like I said, I know I'll see him again in a few days. But I make no promises as to how I'll hold up come Friday night and beyond.

Just one week

Daniel has one week left at home before he leaves. How can the time have gone by this fast??? I swear, it seems like just yesterday when he got that call to be on "alert for orders" but it really was last October. And, while it's been a few months since I started this blog, I still remember writing the first post, and it seems like just a blink of an eye ago when I wrote that there was one month left. Oh, how I wish I could have some sort of magical power that would stop the time from marching on. We had the reception for Daniel yesterday. It was pretty nice. (Thanks to everyone reading who came.) But, on the way home, Daniel made a comment of "another step closer." I asked him what he meant and he said in his mind, in addition to the steps the Guard had him go through, he had his own count-down points. His sermon that he preached was one, then the family/friends reception, next is his last day at his civilian job, then the statewide send-off ceremony, the day he goes to Weatherford for 4 days, and finally, getting on the bus at Weatherford to head to Fort Hood. I guess I have been ticking off those steps as well. And now, here it is, another step closer as the time he has left slips from weeks to days. I want to cry, but at the same time, I don't want to waste my time with tears. The state-wide send-off is this Saturday afternoon. Daniel got his information on the where and when for his reporting. He'll be seated with his unit, so I am so incredibly thankful that I have an awesome supportive family to go with me so I don't have to face it sitting there alone. I better go to the store and stock up on purse sized tissue packs sometime in the next few days.

Combat boots, flip-flops and .........

BABY BOOTIES!!! Yep, that's right, we are adding baby booties to the mix. We recently found out we're expecting our first child next April. We are SOOOO excited and happy. But, at the same time, Daniel and I are both a little sad over the fact that he will miss so much of my pregnancy. But we both know a baby is a huge blessing, and we are so looking forward to becoming parents. But, I do have a request for those of you reading. I know I've asked for prayers before while Daniel's gone, but now I know I need them more than ever. So, if you would, please say a prayer not only for Daniel's safety and well-being, but also for me and our baby. As a friend of mine recently pointed out to me, God is Good! And there's nothing like the power of prayer.

August already

Hard to believe, but August is here already. There is no more "Daniel leaves next month". Now it's all happening this month. He has one more week of working his civilian job, and then he's taking off a week before he leaves. He preached his sermon today. I was very proud of him, and thought he did a great job, as did everyone else in our church. I could tell he was nervous, and there was once when he did have to stop and find his spot again, but all in all, it was pretty smooth. I had an idea of what he was going to say, but I didn't get to hear any trial runs or practicing. I think I was almost as nervous as he was. But he did great. He did a comparison on being in the US Army and the Lord's Army. How they both require faith, strength, and have fear, etc. It was pretty good. Next week is the "Come Home Safely" reception for him at our church. Then after that....D-Day will be here before we know it. Not looking forward to that day, but I know it's inevitable and there isn't a darn thing I can do about it, so I am going to make the most out of the time we have left. So, if you come here looking for updates and there aren't any, don't worry, I'll be updating soon enough. Once Daniel goes, I will vent/gripe/post here more than ever, I am sure. Until then, if you are interested in attending the reception before he goes, please leave a comment or email or call me, and I will get you the details.

July 24th

Well, it's been about a week or so since I updated anything, so for those of you just on the edge of your seat, here ya go.

First, the surgery update. My huge fear about looking ridiculous with huge blad spots turned out to be much ado about nothing, really. Yes, they shaved the areas around the cysts to be removed. No, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It is more like a buzz cut in those spots rather than a clean bald spot. So, while it's incredibly short, at least there is hair there, and therefore it's not as crazy looking as it could be. Well, not anymore. The day of surgery I had what can only be described as certifiably crazy woman looking hair. LOL! With the antiseptic wash they used, my hair kinda curled up like it tends to do when it gets wet. Then, on top of that they put lots of antibiotic ointment on the incision spots, so that caused the curls to get stiff. Add that to the fact that I had a major case of bed head, and you have a look that was eerily similar to those old bride of Frankenstein movies! It was driving me nuts!! I hate, hate, hate for my hair to be dirty so I was going nuts waiting until I could wash it. I actually cheated and washed it Saturday night instead of waiting until Sunday like I was supposed to. (Don't tell my doctor!) The last few days have been pretty good. For the most part, the incisions don't hurt. The stitches itch, but I am sure that's a lot of mental knowing they are there rather than actual, true itching. One spot bothers me more than others. Sometimes feels like a dull ache, similar to what it feels like after you get hit in the head. That's the spot where there were two cysts right next to each other. The surgeon mentioned to Daniel afterwards that there was a "double" that tried to give him trouble, so I guess that explains that spot being more painful than the others. When I talked to the surgeon on Monday, he said some of the cysts were tough to come out and he was glad I seemed to be doing well, he was worried I would be in more pain than I am. (I can thank my Dad's side of the family for my tough, stubborn streak.) The stiches come out on the 7th of August. And, I have an appointment with my genious hairstylist on the 8th!

Now, onto deployment news. Well, there's not a lot of new news on that front. We're getting things ready. A huge portion of what Daniel is taking is already gone, as I've mentioned before. According to someone in his unit,there will definately be a state wide send off ceremony on Saturday, August 16. Time and location TBA. That's actually the same day as a long-standing family reunion for my grandma's side of the family. But, I've already told her I will be at the deployment ceremony, as will my parents. Anyway, after the ceremony is over, Daniel should be free until the following Tuesday morning, when he goes to the unit at Weatherford for that week. Then he comes home Thursday and I'll take him back early Friday morning (or possibly, late Thursday) and then at some point Friday, they leave to head to Fort Hood. Still no word on whether there will be any time for him to come home after Hood and before heading overseas. I'm doing a family/friends "come home safe" reception for him on Sunday the 10th, in the afternoon at our church. I don't have invitations ready yet, but if you want one, drop me an email or leave me a comment and I will be sure to get the details to you.

OK, that's all for now. I've better wrap up this update and get on the road to work fairly soon. Glad today is Thursday....day and a half left of work before the weekend! yay!

home

I am home. Surgery went ok. It took a little longer than I thought it would. Daniel said at one point, one of the nurses came out and told him it was taking longer because they were taking their time to make sure one incision was completely done and the bleeding stopped before moving on to the next one. I was in surgery about 4 hours. When I came to, I felt like I had been hit by a truck and had a monsterous headache. Thankfully they put something in the iv that knocked it out pretty quick. I felt queasy but never got sick. For the most part I don't have much pain. The worst part is my lip. It's swollen from where they put a tube down my throat. My hair feels completely disgusting. They used some sort of antiseptic stuff I think and it made it feel stiff and icky. After I came home and slept for a while, I gently used a comb and at least was able to get the stiffness combed out. Can't wait til Sunday when I will be able to wash it. That may be an adventure all in its own, though. The pain meds they gave me make me sleepy so I foresee lots of naps for the rest of my weekend. But at least its over and I did ok. Thanks to everyone who prayed or called to say you were thinking of me.

Surgery is tomorrow

I have to check in at 6 am. Ugh. I am NOT looking forward to this. Really wishing I could call in the morning and say "sorry, changed my mind. thanks anyway." But, I can't. I had better get some good drugs out of this deal! kidding...kinda. Anyway, if you read this, think of me, please. Thanks.

The Army Room, revisited

Those of you who've read my blog for a while now may remember a post I made back in April talking about our spare room and how it had turned into the Army room. I made a comment about how sad I would be in August when all the Army stuff was gone and it was empty again. It's not even August, and almost all of the Army stuff is gone. Basically, anything that Daniel will not need for the next month has already been loaded up and is in a trailer, ready to go to Fort Hood next month. And let me tell you, looking at that room, seeing all the Army gear gone, is soooo much worse than I thought it would be. I know it's just the "stuff" and that Daniel will still be home for another month, but knowing that it's gone and the fact that it's all loaded up is just another step in this process that I wish didn't have to happen. In a lot of ways, I hate this gradual process. Sometimes it seems it would be so much easier if we had been given only about a week's worth of notice. Dragging it out is killing me. Tomorrow is family day at the unit. Hopefully I can meet up with some other spouses and make some connections to have someone else who'll be going through this at the same time.

40 more days

For reasons I can't quite explain, I have always been the type of person who counts ahead and knows how many days there are until x is set to happen. This deployment is no different. As of now, there are 40 days left until Daniel leaves. It feels like just yesterday we got that phone call that was an "alert for orders". Hard to believe it was actually last October. But now it's just around the corner. Daniel has drill this weekend. Every time he has left for anything related to the Guard, I have known he'd be home in a matter of days, or weeks. This weekend will be the last time that will happen. After this weekend, the next time he leaves will be the one where he doesn't get to come home after a month or so. That thought scares the crap out of me. I am not sure I can do everything I need to do while he's gone. I don't know if I can be that strong. For a long time now, he's worked the night shift at his civilian job, and because of that I've adapted to lots of things, and if it was something I couldn't do alone or fix, all I had to do was call him to take care of it when he got home or put it aside for the weekend. I'm not going to be able to do that anymore. I have an awesome family and great friends that I know will be there for me if there's anything I need, but I just know it's not going to be the same. (Not to mention the fact that my stubborn streak usually prevents me from actually asking for help when I need it.) I wish I could slow time down. I just feel like there's not enough time before he leaves, and I know August 19 will be here before I know it. I feel like there's no much I still need to tell Daniel before he goes, and so many things that we said we'd do "someday" that we just don't have time to sneak it all in. Not to mention all the "business" stuff we still need to do, making sure we have a POA done, and other paperwork, getting my ID done, etc, etc, etc. I guess I am just feeling incredibly overwhelmed by it all today. If you're reading this, please pray for me. I need strength to get through these next 40 days, and beyond. Thanks.

Surgery scheduled

OK, so I will be having my surgery on Friday July 18th. I shouldn't have a hospital stay. I will check in that morning and then after the surgery is over and they monitor me for a few hours I can come home. Daniel will, of course, be there. My mom works at the hospital and may have to check in with her job off and on, but she'll be there too for the most part. So that's it for now.