40 more days

For reasons I can't quite explain, I have always been the type of person who counts ahead and knows how many days there are until x is set to happen. This deployment is no different. As of now, there are 40 days left until Daniel leaves. It feels like just yesterday we got that phone call that was an "alert for orders". Hard to believe it was actually last October. But now it's just around the corner. Daniel has drill this weekend. Every time he has left for anything related to the Guard, I have known he'd be home in a matter of days, or weeks. This weekend will be the last time that will happen. After this weekend, the next time he leaves will be the one where he doesn't get to come home after a month or so. That thought scares the crap out of me. I am not sure I can do everything I need to do while he's gone. I don't know if I can be that strong. For a long time now, he's worked the night shift at his civilian job, and because of that I've adapted to lots of things, and if it was something I couldn't do alone or fix, all I had to do was call him to take care of it when he got home or put it aside for the weekend. I'm not going to be able to do that anymore. I have an awesome family and great friends that I know will be there for me if there's anything I need, but I just know it's not going to be the same. (Not to mention the fact that my stubborn streak usually prevents me from actually asking for help when I need it.) I wish I could slow time down. I just feel like there's not enough time before he leaves, and I know August 19 will be here before I know it. I feel like there's no much I still need to tell Daniel before he goes, and so many things that we said we'd do "someday" that we just don't have time to sneak it all in. Not to mention all the "business" stuff we still need to do, making sure we have a POA done, and other paperwork, getting my ID done, etc, etc, etc. I guess I am just feeling incredibly overwhelmed by it all today. If you're reading this, please pray for me. I need strength to get through these next 40 days, and beyond. Thanks.