In Honor Of.......

Later today, I will be heading over to help with Relay For Life. For anyone reading who may not be familiar with it their website explains all the details, but in a nutshell, it's an overnight event for the American Cancer Society. Teams raise pledges, camp out for the night and take turns walking throughout the night to raise awareness and funds. If you've never been to one, it's hard to describe but it's an amazing experience. Even if you and your immediate family and circle of friends hasn't experienced cancer, it still affects so many people. I know I don't have to think very hard to know of extended family members and some dear friends from my church who have fought it.

I started helping a few years ago when my friend's mom asked if my old Girl Scout troop could help. She was the chair of the luminaria committee. We had already wrapped up our events for the year, but I told her I would help. I had no idea what I would be doing, but it has turned out that the luminaria ceremony is my favorite part of the night. For $5, people purchase a candle that is placed in memory of those lost or in honor of those who are battling cancer. After dark, the names of all those with a candle are read as the lights are all put out and the candles lit. It is a beautiful and touching time.

Tonight, I will light one of the luminarias in honor of my friend, Jesica. I could tell you about Jesica, but instead, I'm going to steal something she wrote on her blog that has stuck with me since the day I first read it. (It's ok, she doesn't know that I'm stealing it from her, but I didn't know she was gonna steal my Memorial Day post until I saw it. haha!)

Feeling Less Crazy
I'm not sad today. I'm not angry today. Today just feels normal.

That frustrates me a little bit, that in my life having cancer is normal. I can't imagine anything further from what I had planned for my life.

It's April, now. In two months it will have been 3 years since my original diagnosis. That's a long time. Do you know what happens in a child's life in just three years? I do. My youngest was only 6 months old when I was diagnosed. She didn't do much. Eat, drink, poop, sleep, cry. She's now 3. She walks, talks, tells jokes, plays ring around the Rosie, and irritates the mess out of her brother.

Three years. *sigh* It's a lifetime.

In some ways it has raced by and I find myself amazed that it's been so long. In other ways, it feels like forever. I have to stop and think to remember the last time I felt "normal" or "healthy."

Three years. Four occurrences. Three different chemo regiments. Four surgeries. Two states. Four homes. Three doctors. Countless tears and twice as many laughs.

Three years. A million prayers. A million thank yous.

One Long Fight

I still tear up when I see this post from her. I said it to her then, and I will say it again now, she is an amazing woman. She has a faith that I strive to have. I pray that if I ever have to face struggles as big as the ones she has endured, I will have at least half of the grace and strength she has shown, even in the times when I know she has been scared and frustrated.

So Jesica, my friend, not only will I light a candle in honor of your fight tonight, this post is also done in honor of you. Happy (day late) Birthday!